Do-It-Yourself Homemade Sex Toys
How to use household items as sex toys
Dr. Sari Locker
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In the kitchen, of course, you find food, glorious food. "Eat me, baby" takes on a whole new meaning when you mix food and sex. Forget what your parents told you about not playing with your food. Now that you’re all grown up, you can play with your food in wild ways that you never dreamed of. You can have fun with honey, chocolate syrup, whipped cream, or marshmallow fluff – just to name a few. (Be careful: Sugary substances placed directly deep inside the vagina increase the chance of developing a yeast infection or bacterial infection.) And don’t forget your vegetables. Carrots and cucumbers make great penile substitutes, if what you’re interested in is penetration. Remember the rule of thumb: If you put a condom on it, and it’s smooth and pliable, you can probably use it as a dildo.
Kitchen Towel and Plastic Bag:
Sex toy just for him: Roll up a towel. Place a plastic bag in the "tube" that the towel roll created. Fill the plastic bag with lubricant. Then place this homemade sex toy somewhere he can thrust freely into it.
Plastic Cup and Sponges:
To create a sex toy for a guy: Line a plastic cup with two thick kitchen sponges. Wet the sponges with warm water, and then lube up the space between the sponges, and he’s ready to go for it.
Check out your freezer, too, because ice can be nice for sexual thrills and chills for both of you. You can tease your lover by running a piece of ice along your lover’s chest, nipples, face, arms, thighs, and butt. Or if you want to be really adventurous, you can use a popsicle as a dildo. (Put a condom on it first.) It’ll give new meaning to the expression "deep freeze." Just don’t leave it in for more than a few seconds, because sex organs can get freezer burn! Have fun with all the kinds of food you can think of. It will add zip and zest to your sex life.
Another kitchen trick: Use Saran Wrap as homemade lingerie. Wrap some around your breasts for a see-through strapless bra, and then wrap it around your crotch for a Saran Wrap G-string. It’s a fun easy way to create your own lingerie, and it's easy to strip off, too. Safety note: Be sure to never allow it near the face.
On your couch, you’ll find some of the greatest household sex toys, the pillows. One of the best ways to change the sensations that you feel during sex is to strategically use pillows to change the angle of penetration during sex. You can simply change the angle of penetration in missionary position, if there’s a pillow under the woman where her butt meets her lower back. Pillows can also be used to prop you up if you want to do it on your side, or to even your height if you are doing it standing up. For masturbation, women might enjoy piling them up and rubbing on them... Men might enjoy thrusting between the cushions (particularly with one of the homemade devices I discussed under the "Kitchen" heading.) The possibilities with pillows are many, so try to put them in different positions for new angles.
Another sex toy around your house is the TV remote. No, I don’t mean you should use it for insertion. Rather, use it to turn on the TV and find something sexy to turn on your and your partner (pay-per-view, or porn on-demand, perhaps).
Scarves and Ties:
In your bedroom, check your dresser for some fun toys. Open your drawers and remove your collection of scarves, or, guys, take a few ties from your tie rack. These silky items can be used to blindfold or tie up your partner, so that some especially sensory fun can be had.
And what’s that on top of your dresser? It’s a hairbrush, isn’t it? You can use it to brush your lover’s hair, and then have yours brushed, before you turn the other cheek, bend over, and enjoy a spanking. Not into spanking? Well, then pleasure yourself with the smooth handled end of the brush. Almost any shaft-shaped, smooth object can be used for penetration, but not all of them should. Before using a homemade dildo, make sure that there are no sharp edges, and no burrs or protrusions on the surface that could scratch or cut your flesh. For added comfort and protection from bacteria and possible infections, put a condom on the "toy." Remember that the stiffer it is, the more likely it is to cause pain instead of pleasure. The vagina and anus are not straight canals, so sex toys used for insertion will work and feel much better if they’re pliable (unlike a hairbrush).
Remove your plastic shower curtain, and then place it on the floor. Next, take a bottle of baby oil from your medicine cabinet, and cover your body and your partner’s body with it. Roll around together on the plastic curtain for a mind-blowing sexy experience. (One caution is that you should not mix oil with condoms. If you will be having sex with condoms after rolling around on the shower curtain, then you'd need to use a water-based lubricant all over your bodies instead of baby oil.)
For self-pleasure, find a household vibrator that works for you. Perhaps a battery operated vibrating toothbrush. Or sit on the washing machine when it’s in “spin”cycle for a thrill.
Copyright (c) Sari Locker, 2008.
Use of this article without permission from the author is a violation of federal copyright laws.
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This aricle is for entertainment purposes. Do not do anything that may be harmful, or that your doctor would warn against.
Portions are excerpted from The Complete Idiot's Guide to Amazing Sex, and it may not be reproduced.