Sex Advice

Dear Dr. Locker: How can I really tell if my girlfriend has had an orgasm during sex ?

Answer from Dr. Locker

She should be honest and tell you if she has had an orgasm. Talk to her (when you are not in a sexual situation). First, ask her what pleases her sexually, and how she best has orgasms. Tell her that you would like to know, because you want to give her more pleasure. Explain to her that if she does not have an orgasm during sex, then you will gladly continue to pleaure her so that she has one after sex (like through manual stimulation or oral sex). The next time you have sex you can have a more open discussion afterwards about whether or not she had an orgasm. You can also suggest that the next time you have sex, she could tell you exactly when she is starting to have an orgasm -- so that you can enjoy experiencing it with her.

If she says she is orgasming, but you still suspect that she is faking orgasm, then the only way to know for sure is to try to determine if you feel her vagina contracting. Vaginal contractions are involuntary during orgasm. If you feel her vagina pulsing during sex when she says that she is having an orgasm, then she is most likely having an orgasm. Some women learn to contract their vagina to try to fake it, but it would be rare for a woman to be able to contract in as quick succession as her vagina would be contracting if it were a real orgasm.

Please remember that it is difficult for many women to orgasm during intercourse. Read more about that here:

* How can women have orgasms during regular intercourse?

Also, for more info about fake vs real orgasms:

* How can I tell if a woman is faking orgasm?

Copyright © Dr. Sari Locker