Sex Advice

Dear Dr. Locker: Is appropriate for my boyfriend to hang out with female "friends" he has had sex with, including one he met when we were briefly broken up?

Answer from Dr. Locker

Be sure that you tell him very clearly that you want him to stop seeing these woman in order to respect you. If he follows through, then he is trying to improve your relationship. Yet, from what you say, it seems to me that he is not really committed to you. If you are just casual as “boyfriend-girlfriend” then maybe you can have a good time with him, and be able to accept that he is involved with these other women. But if you want a commitment, then he may not be the right guy for you. Usually when a couple breaks up once (as you did), it often means that they should stay broken up if one or both of them started sleeping with other people as soon as they were broken up. He slept with someone else while you were broken up, so why did you get back together with him? Maybe he is keeping these women around, because he fears that you will leave him. But whatever the case, if he can't give them up for you, then you may not be happy together. Simply: If you want a real commitment, trust, respect, fidelity, then consider if you'd be happier being single for a while until you meet someone new who can truly live up to those realistic standards -- which you deserve.


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