Sex Advice

Dear Dr. Locker: How can I bring up the topic of using condoms with someone I'm dating?

Answer from Dr. Locker

This necessary conversation can indeed be awkward to broach: Waiting until the last minute is definitely not a good idea, but dropping a "safer sex" lecture into the middle of your dinner out can kill the mood. The best time is somewhere between these two extremes-for example, if you're kissing on the couch and have pretty much decided you want to have sex with this person some time in the future. To keep the conversation from sounding too clinical, try use compliments to starts things off, such as: "I'm really into you and am pretty sure I'd like to have sex with you at some point. If we do, we need to use condoms. O.K.?" If your partner resists, claiming condoms are uncomfortable and that he or she has a clean health record, don't cave. Tell your partner "Sorry, it's a deal-breaker," as it should be. Anyone who's that cavalier about your sexual health doesn't deserve you.


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