Sex Advice

Dear Dr. Locker: Does a woman's vagina get looser if she has sex with a man with a large penis? My girlfriend feels much looser than my ex-girlfriend. Has she only been with well-hung men?

Answer from Dr. Locker

The tightness of a woman’s vagina is not related to the size of the penises that have been inside it. It’s a myth that a woman’s vagina becomes permanently stretched out from having sex with a man with a large penis. After each sexual encounter, the vagina contracts to its original size, and it has no lasting stretching from a large penis. The only way that a woman’s vagina may stretch significantly is after she has a baby, and as you know a baby is much larger than any human penis.

A woman's tightness is often related to the muscle tone of the muscles in her pelvic region. "PC" (pubococcygeal) muscles that control the flow of urine can be more toned in some women, causing their vaginal walls to feel tighter. These muscles can be strengthened if a woman performs Kegel exercises. However, many women are not successful, at making their PC muscles tighter, because it takes daily sets of hundreds of reps of Kegels to make a difference.

However, the tightness or looseness of a woman's vagina is not only about her muscles. It is highly related to how aroused a woman is -- or if she is even interested in having sex at all. When a woman’s vagina feels very tight during sex, often it is either dry because she is not aroused, or her muscles are contracting because she is anxious or maybe not interested in sex. If your girlfriend’s vagina feels loose (and she’s not a mom), then that could mean that she is easily turned-on and very interested in having sex with you. When a woman is highly aroused, her vagina lubricates, then lengthens and expands in order to allow a penis to penetrate easily. Also, when a woman loves sex, she is usually more comfortable with it, and her muscles relax easily and she becomes aroused more fully and thus highly lubricated, which could also be why your girlfriend feels looser to you. This is essentially all good news: she is turned on by you, and she’s into sex!

One final word: Stop thinking about your exgirlfriend. And stop worrying about your girlfriend's exboyfriends. The worst thing you can do for your sex life is thinking about who was there first. She’s with you now, so enjoy her, and learn how to feel pleasure even if you and she seem to have some size compatibility issues.

Copyright © Dr. Sari Locker