Sex Advice

Dear Dr. Locker: My girlfriend has never had an orgasm, and has never masturbated. How do I give her her first orgasm?

Answer from Dr. Locker

It is very nice that you are sensitive and that you care about her pleasure. However, you can not "give her an orgasm." It needs to be something that she learns to have on her own. Then she can work on it with you. You can support her in her efforts by talking openly with her about it, and being patient.

Let her know that masturbation is natural and normal. Also, tell her that masturbation is one of the ways she can get to know her body better, and learn to enjoy sex more. It can help her identify her clitoris (where most women stimulate to have orgasms), and learn it can help her learn what feels good. Masturbation is her key to learning how to orgasm.

Suggest some resources for her to learn how to orgasm on her own. You can start with the following links to other questions and answers here on my site.

* I have never had an orgasm. I am a 29 year old single woman. Do you have any tips for how to have an orgasm?

* How can women have orgasms during regular intercourse?

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