Sex Advice

Dear Dr. Locker: Is the 69 position better, anatomy-wise, for men or for women? Does being upside-down matter?

Answer from Dr. Locker

Pleasure during 69 (simultaneous, mutual oral) is not related to gender. Also, 69 is not one position – it’s a sex act that can be done in many different positions. You can switch positions until you both feel that your anatomy is being served in a comfortable, pleasurable way. Oral orgasms are contingent on where a tongue is touching the genitals and what other parts of the body are accessible for stimulation. If one of you prefers receiving oral sex when you’re flat on your back, then 69 with one of you on top will work better. If you don’t like doing it with one person on top, or “upside-down” as you say, then instead try side-by-side sixty-nine. With both of you on your sides, 69 let’s you have more freedom with your hands to touch each other’s chest, stomach, thighs, butt. Some people do not like sixty-nine at all because they find it distracting. They may want to focus on their own pleasure when they want to have an orgasm from oral sex. Or they can’t concentrate enough to give oral sex the way they want, if receiving it at the same time. If this is the case, you and your partner can remain in a 69 position, but take turns giving and receiving to enjoy the mutuality of sixty-nine, without the distraction. Also, remember that you when you 69, you can always switch positions, and you don’t need to always do it until you both orgasm. It can be fun for both men and women, just for variation or for a warm up. Finally, realize that when oral sex is at its hottest, you’re not even be thinking about whether your body is upside-down or right-side-up. Just get into it, and do whatever feels good to your body and your partner’s body.


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